Hey Stranger!

So how’s you?

Maybe that question is taking you a little longer to aswer today. And that’s ok! Or, you have nothing more to give right now, that’ ok too! So, what do you think? Feel like unpacking a little with me?

I’ve been asked a lot lately about self blame, turning inward, but not in a way that’s productive. So I started thinking about it. 

Firstly, I want you to know that however you’re feeling, it’s valid. You’re not alone. I don’t know what context bought you to read this article, but it’s your truth. Sometimes, starting from nothing isn’t such a bad thing. But when you do, what is it that bursts through your mind? Your body?

Shame. Guilt. Failure. Uncertainty. Fear. 

Maybe a little bit of all of these things. Are you stuck in a loop? Barely swimming? Guess what?

That’s ok too! 

This world is hard to navigate sometimes, it can feel impossible to keep on top of everything when everyone is expecting something of you. So let me ask you something else.

Does trying to meet the expectations of others, lead to a higher expectation of yourself? Who is deciding that for you? You don’t have to answer, but rather look at it as an opportunity to reflect, if you’re feeling up for it. 

So let’s talk about it! Even if this is just one perspective on a relatable topic, who knows! Maybe it will stay with you. 

Have you ever asked yourself, how do I break the pattern? Let’s focus on our mindset here. 

Our brains, they’re beautiful. Our minds, they’re busy. So why not start there? At our thoughts. 

They don’t have to make us who we are, they don’t have to make us what we are either. They just exist, and most importantly, they are ours! When your self critic gets louder, why not try questioning it a little. 

After all, it’s you talking is it not? Think about it! It’s called a SELF critic. SELF love. SELF worth. Its all us. 

And you know, even when your mind challenges you a little bit, you are loved. You are worthy. That’s never going to change. And sometimes, we can be our own worst critic. 

Even if we have to work a little to believe it, you’ve got to feel to heal. Maybe you’re questioning am I right? Am I wrong? Am I normal? I mean, who makes the rules of right and wrong anyway. You’re just you! 

And normal? Maybe try to think about “your kind of normal” instead of the general societal version of what normal is, because society’s normal dosen’t fit all of us. 

If you are a triangle, but you’re squeezing into a circle, maybe you don’t feel authentic. Maybe you do. But either way, your uniqueness can be celebrated.

Me personally? I would consider you a different shape. A diamond. And diamonds are just as beautiful raw, rough and completely organic.

Our experiences don’t have to break us they can shape us. It dosn’t always have to be shame, it can be change. It dosn’t have to be “what should I be” it can be “what can I be.” And what you can be is ok! 

Does it always have to be guilt, or can it be growth? Is it always “I failed” or can it be “I learned.” What are you really afraid of? Because for a lot of us, it’s our own potential. 

Do I know sometimes the risk dosn’t pay off? Sure! I know. But do we give up, or just change our approach the next time we try. This time, little wiser than before. 

Remember, if it doesn’t work out, its no reflection of your competency or skill, it’s only the uiverse gently nudging you to let you know there’s another way to do it. 

At the end of the day, the night, the hour, or the second you feel this way. However long it takes your critic to get little too comfortable, the most undeniable thing about us is we already have the strength to break the pattern. 

Sometimes, its hard to reach. But it IS there. You can’t see the sun when it’s cloudy but it still keeps you warm. When you start to lose faith consider this: Some of the most beautiful things in this world are imperfect. Maybe that perfection is a goal rather than a destination. I mean we all have a different idea of what perfect looks like. 

Stil with me? Let me clarify.  

It all starts with perspective. 

Maybe your perfect sunset is over the water, but mine is over the mountains. And even though it’s beautiful, it still hurts your eyes if you look directly at it. See? Even perfect things aren’t always perfect. How does this help you?

Well, it might not. You might disagree, and that’s totally ok with me. Then again, maybe that disagreement leads you to self awareness, and that takes you to vulnerability. And just maybe, that leads to the courage you need to reach for those strengths. 

Oh hey! Maybe that little or big leap of faith is the right choice. 

But I’ll leave that up to you! 

See you, 

Roux

Hey you! Thanks for reading!

Breaking patterns comes from a place where I have had to learn a thing or two myself to understand that the strength I always had, was actually the key to my growth! I hope the words find their way to your heart in some way, even if not exactly the same way as I have experienced them! 
Along the edge of a dream I’ll see you! 
Roux